Mountain of Boxes!

College, as a part of growing up, is kind of a big deal. For most people, it's the first time you've ever lived away from home. It's when you get to take the classes you want, but there's a tradeoff - you have to decide what you want to be and where you want your life to go. It's when you find out just how responsible you are, how determined, how independent. It's either a chance to set a foundation for a really great life, or a chance to make a lot of big mistakes.

For most of us(including me), it's been both. I've changed a lot over the last three years. I've done things I never thought I could on my own, made new friends(some of whom are nothing like me), and had loads of new experiences, and I'm a better person for all of those things. I've learned which are the friendships that really can last a lifetime.

I've also made a lot of big, stupid mistakes. I've said and done things I never thought I would(and not in a good way). Academically, I'm far from where I could have been. Emotionally, I've let things get way too crazy. I had to lose the naive I-can-be-friends-with-everyone attitude I had when I left high school. Granted, better for it to go now than after a bad business deal or a broken marriage. But it was not a pleasant set of experiences.

Now, starting my last year, I see a lot of people around me second-guessing. Everything from degrees to engagements to locations - nothing is safe. Doubling back to the place where they made that choice, and wondering if the other path wouldn't have been...better. A little more scenic, maybe a little less uphill. And I'm not doing it. Me. The queen of second-guessing, worrying, and indecision. Sure, sometimes I freak out and wonder if I'm not going to be good enough for grad school. But overall, I wake up happy to be on the path that I'm on in life. And that worries me in and of itself.

Until next time,
~Kassius~