Frozen Moments

Dearest Blog,

Yes, I'm still alive.... Here I am.
Little old me hasn't forgotten you, I just haven't felt as though there's anything worth writing in my life...
The show went well. :) I didn't trip.... that's a huge deal to me.
I got roses for the first time in my life on opening night. There were people there who came just to see me. Having people proud of me was a huge deal.
Tonight, I'm sitting in my beanbag with tears in my eyes missing something that I can't name. Maybe it's actually the fear that I'm going to miss something....
It's like that feeling of waiting for the principal's office.
That dread that someone is going to break up with you...
A sick feeling that maybe I'm not as loved as I think I am...
This is a big emptying of honesty for me, but dear blog, if I don't tell you I won't tell anyone.
This then goes out to anyone who mourns the loss of something before it gets lost. I think it makes it easier if you deal with it and get it out of the way.
Thus here I sit... dealing with it...whatever it is.
Love,
Danielle

Death of a Manual Transmission

When I was eleven, my dad took me out in his truck to let me drive for the first time. (There are advantages to living in the middle of nowhere.) He drove a stick shift at the time, so naturally I had more problems than I otherwise might have, but essentially had the basics down by the end of that lesson. I didn't drive again until I was fourteen, and by then all the vehicles in the family had automatic transmissions, so I never did practice and become proficient with a manual transmission.

Adam's car just happens to be a stick shift, and so I can't really drive it. I always feel a little guilty when he's tired or something and I know that I could offer to drive him home, except that I can't drive his car. That, combined with the fact that it's one of those things I might need to know someday in an emergency, and that I don't want to limit my vehicle purchasing options in the future, made me ask him for lessons. He agreed, and we practiced last Saturday. I managed not to kill the engine four times out of six, but even when I didn't kill it, it was usually because I overcompensated the other way and over-revved the engine, which isn't terribly harmful, but does make some scary noises. More on my driving adventures to come later. If you've noticed that Danni hasn't posted in a while, she happens to be in a play(Steel Magnolias!), but hopefully will return to us after!

Have fun, kids.

~Kassius~