I Wanna Dance With Somebody....

Oh I wanna dance with somebody
I wanna feel the heat with somobody
I wanna dance with somebody
With somebody who loves me....

Dear Whitney Houston,
How'd you read my mind?

Don'tcha wanna dance
Say you wanna dance.....

:) I love to dance.
I love any kind of dance.... well, maybe not polka or anything weird like that, but I love dancing in the club. :) With my friends...with the guys I don't know.... anyone.
Ballet helps me remember....remember times when I was in control.
Dancing in the club helps me forget....forget all the things I wish had never happened.

So for now.... I wanna dance with somebody.... somebody who loves me....

Diez Cosas

So, lately I've been seeing the resurgence of the 25-things-about-yourself lists on Facebook. So, I'm going to do one too - with a twist. Here, for your reading pleasure, are 10 things about me that you could probably judge if you so chose. Why? Because I realized that one of the things I really liked about my "old" self - the person I was in high school - was that I often was the person other people were judging. I did what I did because it made me happy. Yeah, I may have been at Wal-Mart in my pajamas, and it might have made people feel better to make fun of me for it, but I'll let you in on a little secret - I usually didn't even notice it was happening. It ceased to be a blip on my radar screen. So, without further ado...

1) When I had them, I loved my camo pants. They ripped and I haven't been able to buy new ones yet, and it makes me sad.

2) I love the St. Louis Cardinals. And not in the oh-yay-go-team sort of way in which everyone loves the Cardinals. I mean, I can throw down player names and stats and standings. My grandpa and I used to watch the games together when I was in junior high and high school. It was part of how we bonded.

3) I play World of Warcraft, as well as Dungeons & Dragons. It's crazy fun.

4) I watch the Disney Channel shows. Some of them. I hate Phineas and Ferb. But Wizards of Waverly Place is cool, and the Zack and Cody shows, and the occasional Hannah Montana.

5) I can't seem to cry at appropriate times, but I'll bawl when it's not.

6) Addendum to that: I am incapable of crying at movies, but I'll bawl at a song if it applies to my situation. Lone Star's I'm Already There, Rascal Flatts' My Wish, and Drake's Find Your Love have all done it.

7) I always prefer to walk at the back of a group of people. Some would probably say that's a psychological wish to not be seen. Really, it's just because I'm always paranoid that someone's going to sneak up and yell, "Boo!"

8) I have kind of a Rain-Man thing with numbers. It's not a big secret, but I see numbers almost to the exclusion of objects(i.e. if I'm looking for your car, I won't remember that it's the one with the spoiler or the tinted windows or the smiley face on the antenna, but I will remember your license plate).

9) I can only eat one food at a time. I have to finish the corn before I start the mashed potatoes. Otherwise, the tastes will mix.

10) I wasn't romantically interested in anyone - ever - until about the age of sixteen. What that says about my emotional development, I don't know.

So...yeah. That's that. Love to you all.

~Kassius~

It's Sure Some Summer.....

So.... I've learned a lot this summer and since I'm a nice person, I thought I should share some of my new-found knowledge with you.

First of all there aren't a lot of places to eat here in Southeast Missouri, but Abigail told me that "QuizmO's and Paneria" are both really great places. I find this particularly enlightening because I've always pronounced them as Quizno's and Panera, but what do I know?

I've learned a lot about pandas this summer. Lydia has let's see....one, two, three, four... like a hundred stuffed pandas. I'm not kidding she has more pandas than I have...trains of thought. We've been to the Memphis Zoo this summer, because they're apparantly the only zoo around that has REAL life pandas.

Tabitha has educated me on everything Barbie. I've seen two Barbie movies since I arrived here. That's two more than I've seen in my whole life. I've learned the difference between Barbie and Kelly and Skipper, and regardless of what they look like all boy "barbies" are named Ken.

Oh....the many wasted hours playing Lego Rock Band. Matthew and I are bomb at it. Lemme just tell you. Also, he's such a little rockstar. That song "So What?!" by P!nk, he knows all the words now... He sings, I play the drums. We win everytime.

We took a roadtrip to Chicago. That was a long drive....

I used to think I just wasn't good at roadtrips. Now I know that I'm just horrible at them.

Six hours was way too long. "Are we there yet??!" Not a funny joke to me anymore.

I'm loving my summer, but I miss my roommate.

I wake up every morning and drag through my day missing my liddle Jellybean.

No matter how lovely my day is, no matter how many giggles... None of it can ever measure up to how wonderful it would be for my roommate to be here. With me.

Love, sun and giggles

Danielle

Mountain of Boxes!

College, as a part of growing up, is kind of a big deal. For most people, it's the first time you've ever lived away from home. It's when you get to take the classes you want, but there's a tradeoff - you have to decide what you want to be and where you want your life to go. It's when you find out just how responsible you are, how determined, how independent. It's either a chance to set a foundation for a really great life, or a chance to make a lot of big mistakes.

For most of us(including me), it's been both. I've changed a lot over the last three years. I've done things I never thought I could on my own, made new friends(some of whom are nothing like me), and had loads of new experiences, and I'm a better person for all of those things. I've learned which are the friendships that really can last a lifetime.

I've also made a lot of big, stupid mistakes. I've said and done things I never thought I would(and not in a good way). Academically, I'm far from where I could have been. Emotionally, I've let things get way too crazy. I had to lose the naive I-can-be-friends-with-everyone attitude I had when I left high school. Granted, better for it to go now than after a bad business deal or a broken marriage. But it was not a pleasant set of experiences.

Now, starting my last year, I see a lot of people around me second-guessing. Everything from degrees to engagements to locations - nothing is safe. Doubling back to the place where they made that choice, and wondering if the other path wouldn't have been...better. A little more scenic, maybe a little less uphill. And I'm not doing it. Me. The queen of second-guessing, worrying, and indecision. Sure, sometimes I freak out and wonder if I'm not going to be good enough for grad school. But overall, I wake up happy to be on the path that I'm on in life. And that worries me in and of itself.

Until next time,
~Kassius~

Yes, I'm Cold and Heartless

I don't think it's fair.
I think everyone should have the same pain percentage.
It isn't fair...it can make the people who live with more pain have problems with being sympathetic, compassionate, considerate.
It makes us look like heartless bitches.
Oh, your vacation got cancelled? I just got raped.
Yes, it is upsetting that your vacation is cancelled. It might be the most awful thing you've ever had to handle. For you, that's pretty high up there on your pain scale.
However, when I think about percentage.....Rape wins.
Your boyfriend broke up with you? My boyfriend broke my arm when he pushed me down the stairs.
You have a headache? I can't walk.
Your mom won't let you go the mall this Saturday? My mom won't talk to me.

Granted....it sounds like one of those situations where "my horse is bigger than your horse...." but in my mind it's far more complex than that.
I think I look at pain like....Janga?
That game where you pull the little blocks out from under each other.
Every time something bruises your heart, we'll pull out a block or two.

I've lived through enough shit that I just have a hard time feeling compassionate. I just can't bring myself to do it. I wallow and pout and once that's over I suck it up and move on. Like nothing happened. I just try to brace myself for another block to be ripped out and hope it's not the last one.

I look at other people's Janga towers.....
The people I really really know and I think it's not fair. That they have more blocks left than me.
That they stand a little taller and a little stronger than me.
That I've been pulled apart and it doesn't look like they've been touched.

It makes me seem like a cold heartless person.
And I hate it.
That's all.

MLIA

So I found this website one time.
Mylifeisaverage.com
I used to think it was really funny.
Then it got....too average.
I decided that FML was way better.


I spent a lot of time thinking and wishing today.

I think that I'm terrified of my life being average.

I want to be more than what people expect. I want to be something to look at. Someone that people want to remember. I want to be...larger than life. I want to be enchanting, mesmerizing, mysterious. I want to be something....a little bit more exciting than the norm.

I can't say I find myself particularly talented. I can hold my own on a few different things, but I can't really blow anyone away with anything....
Someday though, I would like to be able to. I'd like to boggle someone's mind.

I think it actually happened because I watched America's Got Talent last night.
Probably shouldn't have done that. Lol. Now I wish America thought I have talent.
Maybe someday??
Maybe I'll be infamous. :) I'll be famous for being awful at something. I think that would be better than being average.

Someday maybe you'll read about me somewhere or you'll see me on tv. Know what I'll say?
"My life ISN'T average"

Duck Duck Moose, Danni :)